Get Outta My Headspace

I’m on my phone and half asleep while I type this, but I’m doing it anyway. Because I’m stuck on this thought of… How can you borderline hate someone and also feel thankful toward them? I don’t know how I’ll ever straighten out my thoughts regarding my ex-husband. Because, I mean… What’s the point of being angry with him? Why am I so upset? The loss of a future that wasn’t promised anyway? I have no doubt we could’ve been

To My Ex-Husband, On Our Anniversary…

We started dating sometime in August 2008. A month or two later we realized we didn’t really remember when when started dating, so we didn’t have an official anniversary. We knew it was mid-August, so we picked a date: August 14. Two years later we got married on August 14, 2010. Seven years after that you moved out of the house on August 14, 2017. We filed for divorce two months later. I don’t know when you gave up on

Anniversaries…

Life is interesting, you know? A year and a half ago I thought I was happily married. I guess I wasn’t. Because about a year ago, my life went to shit. I wasn’t sure what to expect as this time of the year loomed…but really, for the most part, things are good. Definitely infinitely better than where I was last year. Which really isn’t very impressive. That bar was set pretty low. Did you know that all this started (for

Forgiveness

I’ve mentioned Divorce Care before. We met last night, and the topic was “Forgiveness”. (Thank God they skipped over “New Relationships” because after “Single Sexuality” I just don’t think I could take any more awkwardness.) Anyway, I’ve been mulling over the idea of it in regards to my own situation (forgiveness, not sexuality) ever since. In the video, they were talking about how forgiveness means you’re no longer wishing to “get even” with your ex. You don’t care anymore about

Clearing Out My Brain

So I’m going to Divorce Care, right? It’s been really good up until the last couple sessions. One was basically telling people they sinned if they got divorced unless it fit certain criteria, and some people should never get remarried unless they marry their ex again. That was weird. And the most recent one was “Single Sexuality”. I’m not EVEN going to get into that, okay? It was weird. I didn’t enjoy it, or agree with most of it. And

Single and Ready to Mingle

I never posted when the divorce was finalized. My bad. I’ve been officially divorced since January 17! It feels good. Weird, but good. I keep saying it, I know, but I just never imagined that this was going to be my life. I really thought that we were solidly in love and would be forever. We did have a very rough year, year and a half. Things were hard before I got pregnant and they definitely didn’t get easier after

Tick-Tock

Just wanted to update anyone who’s keeping track – the divorce decree was officially filed yesterday so now it’s just a matter of a judge signing off! They said it shouldn’t be more than a week, but I’m not going to make ANY plans until I get the copy of the signed official decree. and then i’m gonna parrrty It’s going to feel so weird to not be married anymore. Even thinking about it now feels weird. I’ve been married

The best laid plans…

The divorce was supposed to be finalized yesterday. It isn’t. I don’t understand what’s gone sideways. I feel like we did everything we were supposed to do. I just didn’t fully understand what the lawyer was telling me, or they didn’t explain things properly, or something. I thought all we had to do was complete this god-awful online parenting class before Jan 4. We did. I emailed the paralegal on Tuesday, Jan 2 and got an out of office email