#brandnewday
Goodness. That was a LOT to unpack. I really dredged up a lot of emotions and feelings this week as I worked through everything. It feels good, though. Cleansing. The point, though, was to reflect on how alllllll of that might be influencing my thoughts on having babies. (Not that I’m about to have a baby or anything. Slow ya roll.) I feel like I’m done, but I also feel like maybe I feel like that because when I think
Dear God, please let this be the last post… lol! In my first post, I glossed over our relationship leading up to the summer that everything fell apart. I definitely didn’t go into very much detail because I had to cover like 9 years in a single post. As far as I was concerned, they were really, really good years. He was my best friend. I seriously thought we were super in sync and solid. The more I learned about
I don’t think I can fully explain to you how totally unexpected my divorce was for me. Like I said before, things were rough. But, like…I just thought it was normal rough. He was my husband. We had a child together. We had just gotten through the hardest year of our marriage and things were starting to look up. But, yeah. Things got worse, then they got terrible, then it was over. I went from feeling optimistic about our future
This really probably shouldn’t be a blog entry. It’s gonna be too personal. But it is what it is and I am who I am, so here we go. My therapist suggested this exercise. Not putting it in a blog, no, but writing it all out. I’ve got a lot of anxiety around childbirth/babies that is probably definitely not all about childbirth/babies, but also includes the trauma of the fact that my entire life fell apart the year after my
I’m on my phone and half asleep while I type this, but I’m doing it anyway. Because I’m stuck on this thought of… How can you borderline hate someone and also feel thankful toward them? I don’t know how I’ll ever straighten out my thoughts regarding my ex-husband. Because, I mean… What’s the point of being angry with him? Why am I so upset? The loss of a future that wasn’t promised anyway? I have no doubt we could’ve been
We started dating sometime in August 2008. A month or two later we realized we didn’t really remember when when started dating, so we didn’t have an official anniversary. We knew it was mid-August, so we picked a date: August 14. Two years later we got married on August 14, 2010. Seven years after that you moved out of the house on August 14, 2017. We filed for divorce two months later. I don’t know when you gave up on
Life is interesting, you know? A year and a half ago I thought I was happily married. I guess I wasn’t. Because about a year ago, my life went to shit. I wasn’t sure what to expect as this time of the year loomed…but really, for the most part, things are good. Definitely infinitely better than where I was last year. Which really isn’t very impressive. That bar was set pretty low. Did you know that all this started (for
I’ve mentioned Divorce Care before. We met last night, and the topic was “Forgiveness”. (Thank God they skipped over “New Relationships” because after “Single Sexuality” I just don’t think I could take any more awkwardness.) Anyway, I’ve been mulling over the idea of it in regards to my own situation (forgiveness, not sexuality) ever since. In the video, they were talking about how forgiveness means you’re no longer wishing to “get even” with your ex. You don’t care anymore about
So I’m going to Divorce Care, right? It’s been really good up until the last couple sessions. One was basically telling people they sinned if they got divorced unless it fit certain criteria, and some people should never get remarried unless they marry their ex again. That was weird. And the most recent one was “Single Sexuality”. I’m not EVEN going to get into that, okay? It was weird. I didn’t enjoy it, or agree with most of it. And
I never posted when the divorce was finalized. My bad. I’ve been officially divorced since January 17! It feels good. Weird, but good. I keep saying it, I know, but I just never imagined that this was going to be my life. I really thought that we were solidly in love and would be forever. We did have a very rough year, year and a half. Things were hard before I got pregnant and they definitely didn’t get easier after