The divorce was supposed to be finalized yesterday. It isn’t.
I don’t understand what’s gone sideways. I feel like we did everything we were supposed to do. I just didn’t fully understand what the lawyer was telling me, or they didn’t explain things properly, or something. I thought all we had to do was complete this god-awful online parenting class before Jan 4. We did.
I emailed the paralegal on Tuesday, Jan 2 and got an out of office email from her. She’s going to be on vacation until next week. So I email the lawyer. No response. I call yesterday, Jan 4, and the guy that answers tells me my lawyer is also on vacation until next week. Well, he said he was “out of town” which…I’m assuming is vacation.
I reached out to my ex to see if he’d gotten an acknowledgement from the paralegal that he’d completed the parenting class. He didn’t. So she may have already been on vacation, or just didn’t get to it, or something…it may have never been sent to the judge in the first place. PLUS – the guy I spoke to yesterday said that the judge was “pretty good about getting to them within 2-3 days”. SO EVEN IF IT WAS ON HIS DESK HE STILL MIGHT NOT HAVE SIGNED IT YESTERDAY.
Oh, and several people who have gotten divorced are like “Don’t you have to go to court?” And…I don’t think so? The lawyer hasn’t given any indication that we do? But that apparently doesn’t mean anything! So once they get everything filed and the judge sees it and gets around to signing it…is it done? Or do they then have to schedule a court date?? I DON’T KNOW. Ugh.
It’s just…frustrating. I have had Jan 4 in my head as The Day for months and…now I’ve just got a question mark. At this point it’s just a formality, anyway. We aren’t fighting over anything, we’re already following the parenting plan, etc. The only thing is child support…which will be nice. But honestly, the amount he’s required to pay won’t even cover half of the daycare expense for a month. So it’s whatever.
I don’t have the energy to get upset over this situation anymore. I used up all my emotions last year. Now I just feel like I’m treading water, waiting to tie a neat little bow on the situation so I can finally – finally – move on with my life. It’s dumb that that date keeps getting pushed back, but whatever. The past seven months feel like both an eternity and a moment. So another week or so is nothing. And I’ve got my entire life ahead of me.
I’m just gonna crank up the volume on my “fuck you” playlist and get through this day.
2 Replies to “The best laid plans…”
My divorce was final in 2016. At that time, the court was backed up and it took from Aug 22 when we signed our part of the paperwork until Sept 9 before the judge signed it and made it official.
And we didn’t have to go to court after we signed the paperwork.
Just hang in there.
I think it’s fascinating that getting divorced is SO HARD and getting married is (relatively) SO EASY.