Holy Sheet!

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The kitchen is still clean! I don’t know why it makes me so happy, but it does. I really really really hope we can keep it like this for always. I’ve been working on a cleaning schedule for each room. I think I’m going to implement them as I go through my spring cleaning brouhaha. Here’s a screenshot of the kitchen one. The formatting is a bit weird because of the way Excel displays the print preview. I’m also using different fonts on my work computer that I don’t have installed here on my laptop. Not that I do anything non-work-related at work…

Kitchen Cleaning Schedule | The Wilson BuzzBut that’s not really what this post is about. I don’t really have a focus for this post, actually, I’m just trying to get in the habit again. Lucky you.

I had a dream a few nights ago that it was some holiday time, or something. My whole family was together at my parents’ house. For some reason I was also roommates with this girl from my hometown. I’m not sure where or why, though, because she has a son and was really sad to be away from him. Anyway, I got together with her and another girl from my hometown to hang out. But I woke up wrecked in my parents’ yard. I was like “Well crap, I got drunk and drove home. Thank God I made it all the way here before I wrecked!!” (Side note: I NEVER drink and drive. And you shouldn’t, either.) So then I had to go inside and clean myself up, figure out how to explain this to my family without telling them I’d been drinking. I called those girls when I was inside, to try to figure out what had happened. They told me that not only had I gotten wasted, I’d also taken a TON of pills. I freaked out and immediately gagged myself to throw them up. And I just threw up tons of pills. They hadn’t even begun to dissolve. And you know how after you throw up there’s still some left in your mouth, so you have to spit? Well I spit. Only I spit in real life. All over my pillow, and the sheets.

Unrelated: I bought new sheets today at Target!! I also bought a welcome mat for our front door, some magnets that are suuuuuuper cute, a dress, a drying rack for clothes, a mat to put on the dryer so I can iron things (IRON! THINGS!), and a new controller for our PS3. Trust me, my life is very exciting. And since you were begging me, here is a picture of our bed with the new sheets on it. I actually bought two sets. You don’t get to see the others. Mainly because I’m lazy. DEAL WITH IT.

Holy Sheet! | The Wilson BuzzFun story. I washed these sheets first, right? And then threw the other sheets in to wash with our old winter fleece sheets. These got dry, and I put them on the bed. As I was straightening out the flat sheet I realized it had a gash in it. And then another one. And another one. “wtf??” I thought maybe our dryer had attacked, but then I found the bag that they came in. It has a huge gash in it. Sooo…something sliced them before I even bought them. Mr. T is going to exchange them tomorrow.

Holy Sheet! | The Wilson BuzzAt least we have our old bed upstairs. I’ll be sleeping there tonight.

Oh, Mylanta

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So…remember this post? The one where we weren’t getting a cat? Well…we’re getting a cat. We’re still bickering over the name…Mr. T chose Gozer without asking me, all the while I had decided on Chairman Meow last night right before I passed out into a delusional sleep.

OK – The Roast of Charlie Sheen. omg. You have to watch it. So funny! I almost peed. Ah, so good. I would start posting one-liners, but…I’ll contain myself. Let’s just say I stayed up way too late last night.

You know in the movies, when the character has a bad dream and lurches awake, into a sitting position – even gasping loudly? And you think “Yeah, right – no one actually does that nonsense!” ? You know what I’m talking about? That happened to me this morning. When I woke up at 7:30. On a day that I teach an 8:00 class. I was laying in bed…99% asleep…and remembering a dream I had. I was just thinking “How bizarre that I had a dream that Mr. T’s alarm was going off at 6:30! He would never set an alarm that early…” when I suddenly realized that had to be MY phone, and now it was most definitely past time for me to wake up.

I blame it all on Charlie Sheen. And tiger blood. Mostly tiger blood. And winning.

Speaking of winning, Mr. T called his mom to get Chairman Meow’s name corrected. No Gozer for this house. Not yet, anyway – the next pet will be Gozer.

Chairman Meow


Mr. T’s mom took the picture. She’s taking Chairman Meow to the vet on Thursday, then bringing him (her?) to  us. Soon our lives will get even more absolutely ridiculous. Hurgurgle… This is probably a huge mistake.

Who’s the warlock, now, *****?!

I’ll come up with a title later.

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I had another baby dream last night. I am not amused. It better not be a sign of Things To Come. Because we are not ready for babies.

Mr. T was trying to get me to adopt a Siamese kitten yesterday:

Me: You’re kidding me, right?
Mr. T: Khat is getting older, so…when she dies we’ll have another cat to take her place!
Me: But aren’t you excited about that time when Khat is gone and we don’t have a cat anymore??
Mr. T: I just thought it would be nice to have a kitten.
Me: For one, Khat hates other cats, and Splinter might try to eat him. And don’t you remember when we thought it “would be nice” to have a dog, so we got Splinter? $700 in vet bills later we have a living terror in our home, absolutely disrupting our lives.
Mr. T: You’re right.
Me: I know – I always am.

Those last two lines? That’s usually how our conversations end. In my head, anyway.

Todd stayed out late tonight, so I used his anniversary present to me as a substitute. Yes, he got me a pillowcase with a picture of his head printed on it. Unfortunately the image was stretched to fit on an entire pillowcase, so his head is HUGE. But it’s the thought that counts, and I have to say…I’m married to the sweetest man in the world.

Note from the future: Sorry again that there are no images. I’m not sure where they went…

Dream, Dream, Dream

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So I had a dream last night:

Mr. T and I had had a child, but for some reason we didn’t start taking care of her right away – she stayed with my mom and sister. We were finally ready to go get her and were heading to my hometown with Mr. T’s Unkie Ickie. In a pickup truck, for some reason.

We end up passing through this small town that had a cosplay parade going down the middle of the street. Somehow Unkie Ickie manages to hit one of the chicks, but he doesn’t stop! So she’s chasing us down the street… (this situation is never resolved)

We finally get to my parents’ house and our daughter is like four years old. Her nap is almost over, so I go up to wake her up. She sees me, and instantly knows who I am, and she’s so happy to see me…it was a great feeling.

She’s not potty trained (was this bad parenting on their part? when should a child be potty trained? I feel like it’s before four…), so I have to change her diaper – which I’ve still never done. I didn’t realize they had a changing station, so I try to change it on the couch and she just pees….everywhere. Then my sister shows me the changing table and I’m looking around the house and just see all this stuff. Baby stuff – tons of it. And I remember that the only things we have for her are a crib and changing table, like she’s still a newborn.

Then I look down, and I guess I wasn’t able to conceive? or something…because I suddenly remembered we had had to get my Aunt Gina to donate an egg (even though she’s in her 50s now??) and our baby looked just like my little cousin. I got really upset about it, because I wanted our baby to look like us.

And then I woke up.

Note from the future: This post had my first ever comment on it! But it was from a total douche-nozzle, so I’m not going to reference it in any way, except to say this. So 8P