Paint Yo’ Pet, Splinter

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I’m gonna be honest…this year went MUCH better than last year. Sorry, Vigo!!

Paint Yo' Pet, Splinter | The Wilson BuzzThere are still some things that bug me about it, but all-in-all…much better. lol! I am going to make Mr. T go in and paint in his teeth. I tried, and it just didn’t work out for me.

What’s that? You want to see my FULL collection?! Well alright then…

Paint Yo' Pet, Splinter | The Wilson Buzz#glorious


Paint Yo’ Pet

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So if you recall… Last year I attempted to paint Vigo as part of a fundraiser for Operation Education:

Paint Yo' Pet, Year Two | The Wilson BuzzSuddenly, somehow, it’s that time again. I almost missed it!! OpEd posted on Facebook today that the class was Sunday and I was like “Whaaaaa??” So I signed up before I could remember…and regret. Anyway, just like I promised last year, I’m gonna do this one:

Paint Yo' Pet, Year Two | The Wilson BuzzI’ll report back in sometime next week with the results. The horrible, horrible results.

Oh, and if you’re wondering where that masterpiece resides…

Paint Yo' Pet, Year Two | The Wilson BuzzIt’s safely tucked away in my closet, right beside Russell Brand, where no one will see them.


Paint Yo’ Pet

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So Vigo is a rescue dog. He was pulled from a shelter when he was only a few weeks old by a group called Operation Education. He was listed as a pit bull. >.< I mean….mayyyyybe he has a smidge of pit bull in him. Maybe. He’s a little too square in the face to be a full-on whippet, and he has the “durr” personality of Miss C’s pit bull. But no. Just…no.

Anyway, all that to say OpEd is having a fundraiser at Painting with a Twist where you submit a photo of your pet, they draw an outline for you, and then you go in and they somehow teach you how to paint well enough that you can recreate it artistically and be all “Yes, dahling – I painted that mahself!” Or something. It’s kind of pricey at $55, but half of that goes back to OpEd so I think I’m going to do it. If I can find someone to go with me. I figure that even if I suck it up I’ll just make Mr. T fix it. 8}


Now for some pictures:

Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzThis is the one I really want to do (minus my hand), but there can only be one animal per painting. *pout


Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzKhat is the oldest, so she should get top priority. But I don’t have a lot of pictures of her. This one is decent enough, I guess. But am I going to commit to four paintings?? Do I love my animals so much that I would do that?


Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzSplinter is the next oldest. This is a picture from pretty early on, but it’s a cute one! I think I had food. He’s usually not this attentive, or still.

Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzAnother fabulous Splinter picture. I’m not sure why his left ear is always off doing its own thing.


Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzI’m least interested in a Chairman painting, because he is Mr. T’s cat and I’m not a cat person. But he is quite pretty.

Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzDem eyes.


Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzVigo is our newest, but since it’s an OpEd fundraiser, I thought it would be fitting to paint my OpEd dog. The only time he’s still is when he’s being awkward, though. So no pretty pictures of this guy. But that wouldn’t be the truth. Gotta paint the truth!

Paint Yo' Pet | The Wilson BuzzThis is from the same trip to the dog park as the Splinter one above. Couple of goofballs. And no, I don’t take pictures while I’m driving. Never.


Which one should I paint? And will you come with me?


Dog Walking

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So we planted grass. Exciting news! I’ll post about that later, though. Need to take pictures. Tonight is all about dogs.

Since we have fragile little bits of seed in the back yard that will hopefully turn into fragile little shoots of grass that will hopefully turn into legit grass… We can’t let the dogs out there anymore. Not until the grass is legit grass and not fragile seeds or fragile shoots of grass. Or it dies/never grows and we give up. Anyway, walking dogs. I’ve done it twice now and I hate it already. I just sent Mr. T out there to do it and I can tell he’s not a fan, either. Maybe we don’t need grass. BRING BACK THE GRAVEL.

The first time I walked them was when I first got home from work. We made “the big loop” which takes about 30 minutes, maybe? No more than that, but it may be closer to 20 minutes. They both pooped, in case you were curious. The second go around I took a shorter loop. 10 minutes tops, I would guess. I’m really bad with time, though. I’ll try to pay more attention tomorrow. Maybe. Probably not. What am I talking about? I’m really tired, sorry. Anyway, a couple of things happened on the second walk I want to discuss with you.

Firstly, I was revealed to be extremely racist. I feel bad about it. I felt bad about it as it happened, actually. But it is what it is. Dark out, poorly lit area, black dude wearing all black, standing alone by a dumpster, talking on his phone – oversized jacket and a beanie. “Welp, this is how I die” racist me thought. I’m doing my internal debate on if I make eye contact or not, move away or not, Splinter is going to bark at him so I should move away but then he’ll get pissed because I move away from him because he’s black but really it’s Splinter but really it’s because he’s black but what if I don’t move away and then I end up getting murdered?

I would like to go on the record saying that I have been held up at gunpoint before and had my car stolen. So I’m kind of terrified of everyone after dark when I’m alone. I just end up feeling terrified and racist when they are also black.

Do you know what makes you instantly stop being scared of someone? Seeing their tiny yorkie scamper out of the grass where it was taking a poop. NO ONE is scary when they are holding the leash of a yorkie. That is a scientific fact.

And the next thing that happened also makes me out to be a bad person. Inadvertently. So you know how some people have those big brick mailboxes? And then some of those people plant flowers around them? And then some of those people put little borders around the flowers? Well this person had these concrete things. Kind of like these. And of course there were flowers. But what was remarkable was the giant box sitting on top of it. Like it had been delivered with the mail and the mailman was like “Yup, I’ll just set this right here by the mailbox. Oh, there are flowers? No worries – I’ll put the box on top of the concrete thingies that are surrounding the flowers, so they won’t be crushed!” I paused for a second to marvel at this near flower crushing that had occurred, when I suddenly realized Splinter was peeing on the box. >.< Thankfully it was at the end of our walk, so it was really more of the miming of peeing and not actually peeing.

I’ve lost focus. Going to bed now!


Yard Work! #7: Cutting Up

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Cutting down?

I’m bad at being punny, but we cut down the Bradford pear. And by “we” I mean Mr. T and Smithy. Not only did I not help – I was not even at the house. That’s how I like my yard work getting did – while I’m far away from it.

I was actually at a Scentsy party. Yeah, I bought stuff. What? Scentsy is amazing, mmkay? I didn’t mean to, though. I’m weak. WEAK! The smells smelled so good. So I bought a warmer for the gallery. >.< That’s my excuse, anyway. Here’s what I bought:

But that’s not the point of this post. The tree is down!! Here is the full backyard album in G+ if you want to check it out. And here is the stump!

Bye, Bye BradfordMr. T and Smithy took turns cutting the stump up, while Splinter grabbed flying debris to gnaw on. Sorry there are no pictures of the actual process, but like I said, I was busy buying smell good things.

Here is the checklist again:

  1. clear out gravel and stepping stones
  2. line fence with stepping stones (I’d guess we’re about 2/3 of the way there?)
  3. clear out unwanted plants
  4. trim up the plants we have so they don’t look so cray
  5. create terracing/steps to make the incline less sucky and dumb
  6. build a fire pit
  7. cut down mother****ing Bradford Pear tree
  8. plant grass
  9. plant fruit tree(s)
  10. build pergola
  11. start a garden with raised flower beds
  12. build storage shed/“tree” house
  13. add personal touches to make it “ours” or some such milarky

Here is my Pinterest board, if you’re interested.


Plans

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I need to figure out what the f is going on for the next few weeks. Let’s see if I forget anything how much I forget.

Today:

  • I have a chiropractor’s appointment.
  • I also need to get a new debit card. (not sure why I thought I could do this and go to the chiro)
  • Maybe take all three (THREE!) dogs to the bark park? (raiiiiiiiin – ruining my life!)

Friday:

  • I most desperately need to buy dog/cat food. All the animals be starving soon.
  • Exum is coming to take le poopie away. Apparently his LOVELY AND MOST KIND roommate is okay with him having the dog – he just doesn’t want to feel responsible for the dog. 8P
  • Mr. T is going to work on my garter tattoo again. After I don’t even want to know how many years. Pre-marriage, so at least three? Weee….

Saturday:

  • Get a new debit card! (It was at Mr. T’s grandmother’s house! Hooray for procrastination!)
  • I may try to go to the dog park in the morning, so I can see sweet Leeloo again. If her new daddy has the time. (I may not have the time, actually….I had forgotten about the Scentsy party!) (I was right – I did not have the time.)
  • Scentsy brunch with a girl from our small group at church.
  • Usually we’d have Two-Tone open, but we’re thinking of tailgating at MTSU’s football game (home against Memphis, if you care). Use it as an opportunity to advertise for the gallery and also not have to be in the gallery. It’s empty in there, guys. Empty. We’re supposed to be having “found object art” on display, but no one has brought anything in. >.< We have a little over two weeks before our next auction. Kind of scary! But we’ve pulled through in the past – I have faith in us doing it again. 8} I have a couple of ideas for making some found art of my own, actually!
  • I need to finish our bathroom! Or at least work on it some more. (NOPE. Maybe one day I’ll do this. >.<)
  • Mr. T and Smithy are supposed to be cutting down the Bradford pear in our backyard. *squee (Also, I’ve decided to name a former roommate Smithy because suck it – it’s my blog.)
  • We’re also going to see The Conjuring with some friends of ours. Spoooooky…. ;)

Sunday:

  • We have church in the morning.
  • Then there is lunch with Mr. T’s grandmother.
  • And that evening we’re going to Nashville to see Mr. T’s former manager and his wifey. Possibly grilling out? They’re foodies so she made amazing things and brought them to our house a couple weeks ago. I will not be able to return the favor. Pigs in a blanket, maybe? (This got cancelled and there was much rejoicing. Mr. T and I are such homebodies.)

Next Tuesday:

  • I’m having a crafty night at my house so I can do a couple of fun things for the gallery (see Saturday above).

Next Weekend:

  • Music Midtown!! We are leaving on Thursday night when Mr. T gets off work. The festival is Friday and Saturday and Sunday we’re going to explore Atlanta with our friends Sammie and Hagrid. Mr. T took Monday off but I have to be back at work. :(
  • This whole trip might be in jeopardy due to my uncle’s poor health. :( :( :( He was diagnosed with cancer last year and just recently took a turn for the worst. (Turn for the worse?) It’s….it’s kind of terrible.

Tuesday, Sept 24:

  • We have to get mini physicals at my office for our health insurance. SO MUCH FUN. We already had to get more involved physicals for our life insurance. Which, they sent us an email saying we could view our results, but we’re supposed to have a brochure with a bar code on it…and the lady didn’t give us one. So I put in a request for mine and so far they haven’t responded.

Saturday, Sept 28:

  • Partin Family Reunion! Shut up, WordPress – “Partin” is too a word. 8P
  • This is also the night of the Two-Tone silent auction. Not sure how that’s all going to work out. I may go up on Friday evening to see my family and then leave the reunion early (I’m actually not sure on the times for it…) to get back before the auction is too far along. Mr. T might just miss out on all the fun. I’m sure he’ll be heartbroken.

I am sure I have forgotten things. I apologize – this isn’t really a post for you. It’s my to-do list for the month. So I’ll probably come in and update it as the days pass. It will be riveting, I am sure.


Oopsies

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We have a new dog! Kind of. She’s only a foster. BUT SHE IS SO CUTE! She is a mini Vigo. In almost every way. The previous owners rescued her from PAWS so they aren’t sure what breed she is exactly, but they’re guessing Australian Cattle Dog/Italian Greyhound/Jack Russell Terrier. She looks like Vigo snuck into a Dachshund’s crate. So, anyway – we named her Leeloo and I lurve her. We’re in trouble. Vigo loves her. They play all the time. This is why I got Vigo in the first place! Except he’s supposed to be playing with Splinter… >.<

leeloo

Say it with me now: “D’awww….”

Now, I thought we had the perfect arrangement. Exum was going to take her and love her and be her best fran for all times. But his meanie mean face roommate said no. :( YES I BLAME HIM FOR ALL THE THINGS! I would love for someone I know in M’boro to adopt her so Vigo can still play with her. But you guys…it’s going to be so hard to give her up. Mr. T is so not okay with this. This is exactly why I don’t foster. I get too attached!

I’ve eaten dinner and lost my train of thought. I just want to go to bed now. So I’m a-gonna go now. PEACE.


Pet Peeve #1

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Okay, I have dogs. Dogs are….excitable. Not all dogs, I know. But a lot of dogs. My dogs especially. When you walk in our house they bark, they jump on you, they go cray. They also do this if you leave the house. And sometimes for no reason at all while you’re in the house. We’re working on it. But it will never not happen – I’m sorry. I try. I yell at them to get down, and tell people not to let them (Vigo especially) jump up on them to get pets. I definitely don’t mind if someone tells them to get down themselves. I’d actually prefer it, so I don’t have to yell at them from across the room. It’s a way of saying “Oh, I see you don’t allow your pets to do this, I will no encourage the bad behavior.”

But…. But.

Do NOT come into MY house and yell at my dogs for being dogs. If you don’t like dogs, or don’t like my dogs specifically, that is your prerogative. I can no longer trust you, of course, because come on – who doesn’t like dogs? Weirdos, that’s who. But don’t act like it’s your house and the dogs are inconveniencing you. You’ve entered their domain, and you do NOT have the right to scold them for existing near you. I’m not great around kids, mmkay? But when I go over to someone’s house and they have children, I know I’m going to have to interact with said children, and that I’ll need to be polite about it. I know dogs aren’t people, but that doesn’t give you the right to treat them like some sort of scourge upon the earth.

If I know you don’t like dogs, I won’t invite you to the dog park, and I won’t bring my dogs to your house. But if you end up in my house for some reason, I’m not going to keep them locked away just to appease you. Sorry. But not really “sorry”, honestly. The kind of “sorry” that really means “Suck it.” So, uh…suck it.

Splinter and Vigo in their natural habitat.

 If you can’t have at least this level of interaction with dogs, don’t even think about coming in my house. It will not be fun for you. JUST SAYIN’.


And so it begins…

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I uploaded my first blog post, from back in 2011! It’s about like what I remembered. I’ll be curious to see how many images are missing – that one was supposed to have a picture of Mr. T and I and it did not. I was a little worried about losing comments, but…..no one every really comments on my blog, anyway. 8} So if I do end up finding a post with a comment, I’ll worry about it then. It may not come up for a long, long time. You guys suck is what I’m saying.

I took the dogs to the bark park today and they were soooooo happy! They’re passed out beside me right now. One farted earlier and I almost died. It was the most vile thing I’ve ever experienced. Yay, dogs! I’ve also taken a shower and shaved my legs. Like…real shaving, with the cream and a razor and sitting on the edge of my tub. Not doing a balancing act in the shower. They so smoooooth! I should really maintain that better. I hate having prickly legs but I am so lazzzzzzy. So lazy! In about 30 minutes I’m off to get a mani/pedi also. “Why all this pampering?” you might ask. “Good question.” I might say. Tonight is Two-Tone Art Gallery‘s silent auction!!

Not only are we having a silent auction, there will also be a body paint competition and live music! Mr. T’s friend Jonny Gowow is an amazing and hilarious keyboard player. His band The Japanese Cowboys played at our wedding after-party and were so much fun. They do a lot of covers, but Jonny has started writing his own music. It’s…glorious. lol! You can listen to some of it on his Facebook page that I linked earlier. I just started playing it and scared the bejeesus out of my dogs. 8}

I’m trying to figure out tags and categories. I don’t really know the difference between the two. I think I’ll try to keep it limited to one category and then have a ton of tags. Sure, why not? I want things to be more easily searchable now, but I may go overboard. And you’ll probably never notice either way! I do suggest you add me to an RSS feed or something, if you use one. I used to use Google Reader, but those heartless bastards dropped it like it was hot. So now I’m on Feedly. It’s not so awful. They try to be fancy, though. I just want to read my blogs – I don’t need it to look like a magazine or anything.


A Morning in the Life

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Twice in the past week someone has tried to give us another pet. I had to talk Mr. T down from a Siamese kitten his mom had found, and then talk myself down from a friend-of-a-friend who was giving away some type of dog my friend says is kind of like a lab, maybe. My reasoning behind another dog was – someone else Splinter can torment instead of just me all the time! Then I realized it could just as well turn Splinter into a bigger pain, or create TWO tormentors, instead of just one.

Let me tell you the tale of a usual morning for me:

  1. Wake up to the sound of Splinter’s whines coming from the kitchen. If he stays in his crate too long, he’s not afraid to pee out the front door of it. So I get up and let him out. Of course his crack dealer was able to sneak in in the middle of the night and give him a fresh supply, so he’s WIRED.
  2. After Splinter comes back in, I put him back in his crate and head back to the bedroom to try to get a couple more hours sleep.
  3. If I get back in bed without feeding her, Khat is all “Pardon me, madam, but I can’t help but notice you have awoken for the day. Would be so kind as to feed me? Feed me? Feeeeed meeeee? Feed. Me. Feed? Me? Meeee…..foooood….” All the while head-butting me in the boob. Every. single. morning – boob head-butts from the Khat. It’s okay, Splinter gets a good ball-shot in on Mr. T at least once a day.
  4. Now Khat’s fed, and content. And I drift off to the sound of Splinter in the other room, whining “You’re awake. I know you are. I can hear you moving around in there. You’ve let me out once. Let me out again. I’ll be good, I swear. I just want to run. Run run run run run around. Please? I have to bark and run and go mental all up in this house. Did you just roll over? Are you getting up? Please get up. Let me back out. Let’s play all day forever!”
  5. Now my alarm’s going off. Snooze.
  6. Now my alarm’s going off again. Fine….unplug my phone, plug Mr. T’s in (we’re down to one charger, since he left his (which was actually my old one that I gave him after he lost his first one that I no longer needed because I dropped my phone, cracking the screen, and had to get a new phone that came with a new charger which is now the only one we have because he left my-old-one-now-his-currently-missing) charger at his Unkie Ickie’s house when he house-sat there a couple MONTHS ago). I stay in bed a minute, checking FB. My laziness earns me a few more boob head-butts from Khat, who has now forgotten she was ever fed and would like some food, please.
  7. I finally get up, let Splinter out again. He’s all “I know you would come back, I just knew it! Life is So. Great. now that you’re awake and we can play all day forever!” So I shoo him outside so I can shower.
  8. Get out of the shower, let Splinter back in. Exert the small amount of control I have over the psycho by having him Sit! … Stay! while I scoop food. Stand back to watch him salivate – this is the only time he’s ever still, other than sleeping – for a minute or so, then let him eat while I get dressed.
  9. Nudge Mr. T to let him know I’m leaving. I usually get a grunt and a kiss out of it…then I escape leave the house. Anything that Splinter does from this point on is no longer my concern – Mr. T’s in charge now. My guess is he gets smashed balls while Splinter tries to burrow under the covers with him.

This morning I made Mr. T do all of it, because I’m evil. I got to hear his mumbled curses toward our babies instead of uttering my own. It made me smile… So, no – we won’t be getting any more pets for awhile. If ever. And we definitely won’t be having any kids any time soon. We can’t cope with things we can lock in crates and leave for hours at a time. I can’t imagine we would do well with a screaming baby.