LBW: The Birth Story

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It’s been four months, guys… I’ll try to get it right, but I’ve slept once or twice since then. And more importantly – I haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since then!! Anyway, I’m going to try to recount the tale of the birth of LBW. In as much detail as I can remember, so it might cross over into TMI territory…we’ll see how it goes.

At our second ultrasound I swear the doctor said the due date was March 31. But I guess he didn’t update the chart. We went in for an appointment on March 30 and I was only dilated to 1cm. I had been at 1cm for three weeks. No Braxton-Hicks contractions or any other sign of labor. I did lose my mucus plug at some point, but apparently that doesn’t mean much. My doctor doesn’t let you stay pregnant past 41wks, so he brought up scheduling an induction for one week past our due date, which we told him was March 31. When he went to write it in his calendar he saw that the due date was actually April 3. So he said we could push the induction back longer if we wanted. Well…I had woken up around Week 38 or 39 and was done with being pregnant. DONE. So I said “No!” and we kept the April 6 induction date. I never had a single contraction until the hospital. LBW was in no hurry to greet the world.

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz

The last picture of us as a family of two! This was right after we got into our room at the hospital.

We had to check in around 9:00pm on April 5 to start the induction process. April 4 we had a chill night at home with the animals, watching TV and attempting to get a good night’s rest. April 5 we went to Olive Garden for dinner, then I think we might have gone to Books-A-Million? Finally we headed into the hospital. To start the induction process, they put this little pill called Cytotec up…me. It helps ripen the cervix and *could* kickstart labor. So I got one of those when I first got in, and then again at some point in the middle of the night. I also got an IV for the first time ever and omg it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Worse even than labor, because it shouldn’t have been so bad. The girl tried 3 times before she called in someone else to do it. Mr. T’s cousin said they used a humongous needle – way bigger than necessary. AND IT WAS IN THE BACK OF MY HAND. Anyway, I had very – very – mild contractions throughout the night, but was able to sleep for most of it.

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz

Fracking IV hurt like a sunuvabitch.

I think around 8:00am they started the pitocin drip. They said I could get an epidural whenever I wanted, but at this point I felt fine so I said to wait. We were keeping our doula informed, but again – I felt fine – so she was holding off on coming to the hospital. Everyone kept telling me it would probably be hours before the show really got going. My parents showed up at some point in the morning…I’m not sure if it was before or after the epidural. I’ve already started to forget things. I’d say maybe around 10:00 or 11:00 I started to really feel the contractions. At that point I was approx 5cm dilated (that’s about halfway). They told me from that point on it’s about 1cm an hour, so the baby would probably be coming around dinnertime. I asked for an epidural and was then told that I actually had to wait until I’d gotten a full bag of fluids before I could get it. NO ONE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE. So that sucked. I stared that bag down as it slowly dripped. Mr. T took a picture of the hand prints on his arm where I was squeezing the crap out of it.

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz

I think Mr. T was showing my parents how to do stuff on an iPhone…maybe.

omg, you guys. Epidurals are amazing. I highly recommend them. HIGHLY. It didn’t hurt at all. And it brought glorious relief. I do have a redonk curve in my spine, though, so they were a bit worried that it might not take, or only partially work, or wear off too soon. Also, since you don’t feel contractions while you’re on an epidural it can slow labor down, so they try to keep you moving around. Or something like that. All I know is 45 min after I got it, they came in and rolled me over onto my left side. I had started to feel contractions again, which I thought was kind of strange. But they were super mild, kind of like what I’d felt through the night, so I figured maybe they were just so strong that they were pushing through the epidural, but it was a normal thing that happened.

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz

I’m pretty sure this was after the epidural had started to wear off. Holy crap, my neck has rolls for days.

Anyway, they rolled me on my left side so I could talk to Mom & Dad. The nurse checked on me after I’d been on my side for a few minutes, asking if I felt totally numb. I told her that I could kind of feel my right leg a little, so she decided I should be rolled over onto my right side. Maybe that makes the epidural juices trickle down? idk. I also mentioned that I was feeling a bit of pressure. She said that it’s pretty common to feel like you need to urinate, but if I ever felt the need to poop that might be cause for concern. At this point the contractions were getting pretty intense…almost back to when I’d started asking for an epidural. Almost as soon as the nurse walked out I was like…yeah, maybe get her back in here. I told Mr. T to tell our doula to head over.

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz

This is the last picture taken of me before shizz got real. No time for pictures until after LBW was born!

The nurse said that the epidural was probably just wearing off and would need to be adjusted, but she would check me again to make sure. She had me do a “test push” just to see how things were progressing. Almost immediately she was like “Okay…no more pushing. I need to get Dr. Williams here NOW.” Also, apparently in another delivery room some poor woman had been actively pushing for 30+ minutes and PULLED HER IV OUT THREE TIMES. Just…how? idk. But ALL the nursing staff were helping her. She ended up needing an emergency c-section. The next…maybe 15-30 minutes? Were just this poor woman telling me to NOT PUSH NO MATTER WHAT PLEASE JUST WAIT DR. WILLIAMS WILL BE HERE SOON and me thinking “God…I’d REALLY like to push, though…” She would spread my legs, check, then immediately push my knees back together and say “Okay, yeah….don’t push or the baby will get here before the doctor does.” So, yeah. THAT was a lot of fun.

And then Dr. Williams finally showed up and I could push and holy hell it hurt. I was like “I really thought epidurals would do more to block the pain” but now I’ve come to the realization that mine must have almost completely worn off becauseĀ  people with working epidurals have told me they never really felt anything. I pushed through several contractions and omg I could feel EVERYTHING. It was like Dr. Williams was trying to stretch me open more (which he was) but omg it was not fun. I distinctly remember thinking “How about we get some lube down there, broski?” because it…well it did not feel good. And I would feel the head allllllllmost get out, but then the contraction would end and it would *ploop* disappear again. They kept insisting that I almost had it, but I think they just tell everyone that. The most unpleasant feeling, though – not the most painful, but the one that made me go “Oh, ew…” was the feeling of the rest of the body coming out. The head was the worst. Freaking stupid big-headed baby… But the rest of the body…I can’t explain it. It felt like a slimy tiny human body slid out of my vagina, is what it felt like. It was so gross. lol! So, so gross. I just shivered a little remembering it.

Of course, then they held the baby up and were all “it’s a boy!” and I made this god-awful sob/gasp noise, Mr. T cut the cord, and I got to hold Little Baby Wade for the first time. They tell you that you’re so caught up in holding the awesome new baby that you don’t even notice what happens next – that is a lie. I noticed it all. And it sucked. You have to deliver the placenta, which is gross. And they massage your stomach, which is fracking painful. Then they stitch you up. Somehow – SOMEHOW – even with my giant baby and crazy fast delivery I didn’t have any external tearing. But! I think the internal damage was pretty significant, because he was still down there stitching for a long time. It was not fun. I think they were worried about how much I bled. I know I was…I definitely had these random thoughts about dying in the middle of labor and how Mr. T would have to raise the baby on his own. It’s weird how you have time to think all these random thoughts. It doesn’t seem like you will, but you do. I did get really lucky with the lack of external damage, though. Really, really lucky.

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz


A few other things to note about recovery… My stomach felt SO WEIRD for the next week or two. Because it doesn’t go away immediately, which everyone tells you. I knew to expect to still look pregnant…but I didn’t think about the fact that there would just be all this empty space, and everything that was compressed would suddenly have all this extra room. I felt hollow and bizarre. And they kept doing the stomach massages. They kept hurting. And all this blood would squish out when they did it. Oh it was so gross. Plus they left my IV in, which blew. I finally asked someone if they could take it out sometime around 3:00am and she did. Then it bled like a stuck pig for like 30 minutes. It was ridiculous.

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz

My sad, stretch-mark covered stomach and the creature that did it to me. <3

Oh, and LBW’s stomach was full of amniotic fluid, which I guess happens. He projectile vomited this horrific black liquid several times. He also refused to nurse for probably a good 12+ hours. That (plus an undiagnosed for two-months tongue tie) caused his weight to drop nearly a full pound from birth to when we left the hospital. That turned into a two-month nightmare…but that’s a story for another post. lol!

LBW: The Birth Story | The Wilson Buzz

The happy family in our first week back home.

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