Home Owningness

Sometimes being a homeowner is great. No throwing away money on rent! American dream! Do whatever you want with no one to tell you no! And then sometimes it blows. We’re in charge of landscaping. Things break and we have to fix them. Remodeling is haaaaard…

Things that I hate about being a homeowner right now:

  • Our toilet has had a leak for at least a month or two. Mr. T is scared of failure so has avoided trying to fix it, in the fear that he won’t know how. So we have a bowl under it. Drip, drip goes the money. DOWN THE DRAIN. Literally!
  • The stove has gone out. MR (male roommate) was cooking in the oven and on the range yesterday afternoon and said it went “pop” and shut off. We reset the fuse and everything appeared to be working again, except it wasn’t. Mr. T tried to cook a pizza last night and the oven wouldn’t preheat. I’ve been assuming the range still works, since MR was cooking on it. But now I’m not so sure. I’ve learned to not trust anything he says to be factual. Not that he lies…just that he doesn’t know what’s going on. >.<
  • There is a leak. Somewhere. I noticed it way back when we had the family of roommates. It was raining and I was drunk and water was dripping from the AC grate in the kitchen. I put a bowl under it and forgot about it for a couple days. The family’s bedroom was above that grate and they said they didn’t have any moisture in their room. But now the ceiling is turning that ominous brown that signifies water damage.
  • What else, what else…. Oh, the backyard. THAT is a disaster. What are we doing?! No one knows!!
  • The bathroom. Geeze, I want that to be finished.

And finally – f*ck roommates. Just….f*ck’em. Even the ones that aren’t bad are still bad because I’m married and too old for roommate sh*t. I want to be able to walk around my house naked and have a messy kitchen if I want to have a messy kitchen. I don’t want someone else in my living room watching my TV, either. If I want to have a Modern Family marathon that lasts for an entire weekend, I should have it. And not have to wear pants while it’s happening.

Basically what I’m saying is, when our roommates are gone, you shouldn’t come over for a few weeks. ‘Cause I’m gonna be naked.


Tell me how you REALLY feel: