Dog Walking

So we planted grass. Exciting news! I’ll post about that later, though. Need to take pictures. Tonight is all about dogs.

Since we have fragile little bits of seed in the back yard that will hopefully turn into fragile little shoots of grass that will hopefully turn into legit grass… We can’t let the dogs out there anymore. Not until the grass is legit grass and not fragile seeds or fragile shoots of grass. Or it dies/never grows and we give up. Anyway, walking dogs. I’ve done it twice now and I hate it already. I just sent Mr. T out there to do it and I can tell he’s not a fan, either. Maybe we don’t need grass. BRING BACK THE GRAVEL.

The first time I walked them was when I first got home from work. We made “the big loop” which takes about 30 minutes, maybe? No more than that, but it may be closer to 20 minutes. They both pooped, in case you were curious. The second go around I took a shorter loop. 10 minutes tops, I would guess. I’m really bad with time, though. I’ll try to pay more attention tomorrow. Maybe. Probably not. What am I talking about? I’m really tired, sorry. Anyway, a couple of things happened on the second walk I want to discuss with you.

Firstly, I was revealed to be extremely racist. I feel bad about it. I felt bad about it as it happened, actually. But it is what it is. Dark out, poorly lit area, black dude wearing all black, standing alone by a dumpster, talking on his phone – oversized jacket and a beanie. “Welp, this is how I die” racist me thought. I’m doing my internal debate on if I make eye contact or not, move away or not, Splinter is going to bark at him so I should move away but then he’ll get pissed because I move away from him because he’s black but really it’s Splinter but really it’s because he’s black but what if I don’t move away and then I end up getting murdered?

I would like to go on the record saying that I have been held up at gunpoint before and had my car stolen. So I’m kind of terrified of everyone after dark when I’m alone. I just end up feeling terrified and racist when they are also black.

Do you know what makes you instantly stop being scared of someone? Seeing their tiny yorkie scamper out of the grass where it was taking a poop. NO ONE is scary when they are holding the leash of a yorkie. That is a scientific fact.

And the next thing that happened also makes me out to be a bad person. Inadvertently. So you know how some people have those big brick mailboxes? And then some of those people plant flowers around them? And then some of those people put little borders around the flowers? Well this person had these concrete things. Kind of like these. And of course there were flowers. But what was remarkable was the giant box sitting on top of it. Like it had been delivered with the mail and the mailman was like “Yup, I’ll just set this right here by the mailbox. Oh, there are flowers? No worries – I’ll put the box on top of the concrete thingies that are surrounding the flowers, so they won’t be crushed!” I paused for a second to marvel at this near flower crushing that had occurred, when I suddenly realized Splinter was peeing on the box. >.< Thankfully it was at the end of our walk, so it was really more of the miming of peeing and not actually peeing.

I’ve lost focus. Going to bed now!

Tell me how you REALLY feel: